Contender
SuckMyPresticles
The front office audit. Feel free to file a complaint with the scoreboard.
prestonbryant12 · Season history
The roster has entered the chat
Bijan Robinson is delivering 24.2 points per observed week. That is the sort of employee who should be allowed to skip the staff meeting.
Chuba Hubbard is 27. The production can still help, but this front office's five-year plan should probably include a calendar.
Bijan Robinson is 24 and averaging 24.2 in the saved sample. Finally, a reason to say "trust the process" without immediately muting the chat.
These comments use observed points and ages. No salaries, contracts, injuries, or NFL playing-time claims are invented.
How is this owner doing?
Trending up: this season's head-to-head win rate is 100.0%, versus 58.3% across 24 prior regular-season games. That is +41.7 percentage points. The current sample is 5 games, so this is a temperature check, not a career verdict.
Schedule luck: +1.73 wins versus all-play expectation. All-time record, championships, trades, and season-by-season results.
The franchise receipts
Across linked seasons: 19-10-0 in regular-season head-to-head games, 0 championships, and 2 playoff appearances. Team names may change. The receipts follow the manager.
| Season | Team snapshot | H2H W-L-T | Observed games |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2024 | prestonbryant12 | 9-3-0 | 12 |
| 2025 | SuckMyPresticles | 5-7-0 | 12 |
| 2026 | SuckMyPresticles | 5-0-0 | 5 |
Value basis: FantasyCalc dynasty value. Priced skill players: 20/20. Unpriced is unknown, not worthless. Source and method.
Key players
| Player | Position | Age | Observed PPG | Weeks | Value |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bijan Robinson | RB | 24 | 24.24 | 5 | 10856 |
| Justin Jefferson | WR | 27 | 12.74 | 5 | 5962 |
| Malik Nabers | WR | 23 | 14.78 | 5 | 5580 |
| De'Von Achane | RB | 25 | 4.92 | 5 | 4375 |
| Garrett Wilson | WR | 26 | 17.28 | 5 | 4270 |
| Tyler Warren | TE | 24 | 13.98 | 5 | 3736 |
| Brock Purdy | QB | 26 | 23.73 | 5 | 3199 |
| Quinshon Judkins | RB | 22 | 11.26 | 5 | 3111 |
Draft-pick drawer
| Pick | Value |
|---|---|
| 2027 round 2 (original roster 9) | 1500 |
| 2028 round 1 (original roster 8) | 2053 |
| 2028 round 1 (original roster 9) | 2053 |
| 2028 round 2 (original roster 1) | 1268 |
| 2028 round 2 (original roster 9) | 1268 |
| 2029 round 1 (original roster 2) | 1785 |
| 2029 round 1 (original roster 9) | 1785 |
| 2029 round 3 (original roster 9) | 870 |
Outlook is based on simulated playoff odds: at least 70% is a contender, at most 30% is a rebuild candidate. This is not a claim about what the owner wants to do. Explore trade ideas.