Nathan Staub Memorial. The standings have receipts. The group chat has explanations.
Data captured 2026-11-03 20:07 UTC. Scores are as reported by Sleeper, subject to stat corrections. Transactions and draft facts are read-only.
Matchup recaps
Cam Newtons fantasty (Waiver Accountants) outscored Newmen, 119.68 to 98.96, a 20.72-point weekly margin. The group chat victory lap has been approved.
The Dirtiest (Bench Philosophers) outscored landanss, 135.60 to 122.90, a 12.70-point weekly margin. The group chat victory lap has been approved.
Afghan National Team (Trade Committee) outscored City Wok Rions, 153.08 to 140.76, a 12.32-point weekly margin. The group chat victory lap has been approved.
balls2thewalls2 (Draft Pick Collectors) outscored Killen Kehillah, 148.44 to 108.06, a 40.38-point weekly margin. The projections will be hearing from management.
Abominable Snowmen (Rebuild Enthusiasts) outscored wcisco, 118.98 to 113.68, a 5.30-point weekly margin. The group chat victory lap has been approved.
SuckMyPresticles (Victory Formation) outscored MauiHowie, 119.86 to 90.34, a 29.52-point weekly margin. The group chat victory lap has been approved.
Weekly awards
Team of the Week: Afghan National Team, 153.08. The lineup understood the assignment.
Bust of the Week: MauiHowie, 90.34. This means lowest team score, not a projection-based underperformance. A temporary subscription to next week is recommended.
Closest game: Abominable Snowmen / wcisco, 5.30 points this scoring week.
Biggest blowout: Killen Kehillah / balls2thewalls2, 40.38 points this scoring week.
Top and bottom scorers
Started players only, including kickers and defenses. A zero does not tell us whether someone was injured, inactive, on an NFL bye, or simply scoreless. All ties remain visible in matchup data.
Highest: Joe Burrow (Cam Newtons fantasty), 42.48; Tee Higgins (Afghan National Team), 37.50; Tyler Allgeier (landanss), 36.10; Ja'Marr Chase (The Dirtiest), 31.10; Bhayshul Tuten (Killen Kehillah), 29.90
Lowest: Jake Ferguson (Newmen), 0.00; Lamar Jackson (The Dirtiest), 0.00; Omar Cooper Jr. (Killen Kehillah), 0.00; Tre Tucker (Killen Kehillah), 0.00; Will Reichard (wcisco), 0.00
Power rankings
Power = 100 x [0.50 x percentile(season points per scored matchup week) + 0.30 x percentile(last 3 scored matchup weeks average) + 0.20 x all-play win fraction]. Ties count half; equal percentiles use midranks; byes are excluded. This is an editorial ranking, not playoff seeding.
| Rank | Team | Power | PPG | Last 3 | Weeks |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Abominable Snowmen | 93.41 | 158.81 | 143.59 | 8 |
| 2 | Afghan National Team | 90.23 | 146.00 | 145.99 | 8 |
| 3 | MauiHowie | 74.09 | 133.28 | 123.19 | 8 |
| 4 | The Dirtiest | 67.73 | 131.50 | 130.27 | 8 |
| 5 | SuckMyPresticles | 64.32 | 132.64 | 116.05 | 8 |
| 6 | wcisco | 42.50 | 125.23 | 113.69 | 8 |
| 7 | Killen Kehillah | 40.45 | 128.13 | 110.89 | 8 |
| 8 | Newmen | 35.45 | 121.80 | 113.45 | 8 |
| 9 | landanss | 31.36 | 118.41 | 115.57 | 8 |
| 10 | balls2thewalls2 | 27.05 | 119.46 | 111.54 | 8 |
| 11 | City Wok Rions | 24.55 | 104.77 | 117.17 | 8 |
| 12 | Cam Newtons fantasty | 8.86 | 107.86 | 108.17 | 8 |
Standings movement
Current Sleeper records at capture time, ordered by win percentage, then points for, then roster ID. Division and commissioner seeding rules can differ. Movement compares the previous published snapshot of this same league ID; the first issue establishes the baseline. Historical previews retain current records.
| Rank | Team | W-L-T | PF | Division | Movement |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Abominable Snowmen | 7-1-0 | 1271.46 | 1 | +0 |
| 2 | SuckMyPresticles | 7-1-0 | 1061.14 | 1 | +1 |
| 3 | MauiHowie | 6-2-0 | 1066.28 | 2 | -1 |
| 4 | Afghan National Team | 5-3-0 | 1167.96 | 1 | +1 |
| 5 | Newmen | 5-3-0 | 974.40 | 2 | -1 |
| 6 | Killen Kehillah | 4-4-0 | 1025.02 | 2 | +0 |
| 7 | The Dirtiest | 3-5-0 | 1051.98 | 2 | +2 |
| 8 | wcisco | 3-5-0 | 1001.88 | 2 | -1 |
| 9 | landanss | 3-5-0 | 947.32 | 1 | -1 |
| 10 | balls2thewalls2 | 2-6-0 | 955.68 | 1 | +1 |
| 11 | City Wok Rions | 2-6-0 | 838.16 | 2 | -1 |
| 12 | Cam Newtons fantasty | 1-7-0 | 862.88 | 1 | +0 |
Trades and waiver wire
16 completed moves in this issue's transaction window. Pending and failed moves are excluded.
free_agent #1420834373216788480: Abominable Snowmen receives Cincinnati Bengals; Abominable Snowmen drops San Francisco 49ers
free_agent #1420834487805153280: Killen Kehillah receives Washington Commanders; Killen Kehillah drops Chicago Bears
free_agent #1420834722291920896: Killen Kehillah receives AJ Barner; Killen Kehillah drops Konata Mumpfield
trade #1421543914233507840: City Wok Rions receives Kyle Monangai; The Dirtiest receives 2027 round 2 (original: City Wok Rions)
free_agent #1421602958075858944: SuckMyPresticles receives Tampa Bay Buccaneers; SuckMyPresticles drops Carolina Panthers
free_agent #1421663688112291840: MauiHowie drops Tank Bigsby
free_agent #1421663708190388224: MauiHowie receives Kalif Raymond
free_agent #1421714169484398592: Afghan National Team receives Mason Taylor; Afghan National Team drops Pat Freiermuth
free_agent #1421730968007348224: City Wok Rions drops Cleveland Browns
free_agent #1421731010319499264: City Wok Rions drops Eddy Pineiro
trade #1421734880777187328: MauiHowie receives Christian Watson; wcisco receives 2027 round 2 (original: MauiHowie); wcisco receives 2028 round 2 (original: MauiHowie); wcisco receives 2029 round 1 (original: MauiHowie); wcisco receives 2029 round 2 (original: MauiHowie)
free_agent #1422518579982499840: Cam Newtons fantasty receives Las Vegas Raiders; Cam Newtons fantasty drops New York Jets
free_agent #1422658354454478848: landanss receives Chad Ryland; landanss drops J.J. McCarthy
free_agent #1422706272611893248: The Dirtiest receives Devin Singletary
free_agent #1422825716117954560: Killen Kehillah receives Treylon Burks; Killen Kehillah drops Roman Wilson
free_agent #1422839266815250432: MauiHowie drops Fernando Mendoza
Dynasty desk
Age curves below are configurable planning heuristics, not measured production forecasts or trade market prices. No injury news, projections, or current consensus values are supplied by these endpoints.
| Position | Age band | Illustrative age factor |
|---|---|---|
| QB | 0-24 | 0.90 |
| QB | 25-32 | 1.00 |
| QB | 33-36 | 0.85 |
| QB | 37+ | 0.70 |
| RB | 0-23 | 0.95 |
| RB | 24-26 | 1.00 |
| RB | 27-28 | 0.80 |
| RB | 29+ | 0.60 |
| WR | 0-23 | 0.90 |
| WR | 24-28 | 1.00 |
| WR | 29-31 | 0.85 |
| WR | 32+ | 0.65 |
| TE | 0-24 | 0.85 |
| TE | 25-29 | 1.00 |
| TE | 30-32 | 0.85 |
| TE | 33+ | 0.70 |
| Team | Mean known QB/RB/WR/TE age | Age watch |
|---|---|---|
| Cam Newtons fantasty | 24.6 | Samaje Perine (31), Mark Andrews (31) |
| The Dirtiest | 24.8 | Devin Singletary (29), Kenny Gainwell (27) |
| Afghan National Team | 25.3 | Matthew Stafford (38), Jonathan Taylor (27), Rachaad White (27) |
| Killen Kehillah | 26.4 | Davante Adams (33), Tyreek Hill (32), Aaron Jones Sr. (31), Mike Gesicki (31), Travis Etienne Jr. (27) |
| Abominable Snowmen | 26.6 | Chris Rodriguez Jr. (27), Derrick Henry (32), Christian McCaffrey (30), Dallas Goedert (31), Juwan Johnson (30), Rhamondre Stevenson (28) |
| Newmen | 26.0 | Kendrick Bourne (31), Deebo Samuel Sr. (30) |
| landanss | 26.3 | Stefon Diggs (32), Hunter Henry (31), Dak Prescott (33), Alvin Kamara (31) |
| MauiHowie | 27.7 | Kirk Cousins (38), Mike Evans (33), Kalif Raymond (32), George Kittle (33), Saquon Barkley (29), D'Andre Swift (27) |
| SuckMyPresticles | 25.1 | Dalton Schultz (30), Jakobi Meyers (29), Rico Dowdle (28), Chuba Hubbard (27) |
| City Wok Rions | 26.4 | Cooper Kupp (33), DJ Moore (29), A.J. Brown (29), Tony Pollard (29), J.K. Dobbins (27), Michael Pittman Jr. (29), James Cook III (27), Jordan Mason (27) |
| balls2thewalls2 | 27.7 | Emanuel Wilson (27), Travis Kelce (37), Keenan Allen (34), Tyler Higbee (33), Chris Godwin Jr. (30), Courtland Sutton (31), Josh Jacobs (28), Terry McLaurin (31), Jaylen Warren (28) |
| wcisco | 24.8 | David Montgomery (29) |
Pick inventory is inferred from one original pick per roster per configured round for the next three drafts, then Sleeper's traded-pick ownership overrides. Unusual commissioner edits may require correction. Heuristic units: R1=100, R2=45, R3=20, R4=10, later=5; multiply by 0.85 per year beyond the next draft. No exact pick slot or market value is assumed.
| Team | Inferred picks | Heuristic units |
|---|---|---|
| Cam Newtons fantasty | 10 | 423.2 |
| The Dirtiest | 6 | 330.2 |
| Afghan National Team | 6 | 201.2 |
| Killen Kehillah | 9 | 424.5 |
| Abominable Snowmen | 10 | 361.5 |
| Newmen | 10 | 444.5 |
| landanss | 9 | 424.5 |
| MauiHowie | 5 | 181.4 |
| SuckMyPresticles | 8 | 450.4 |
| City Wok Rions | 11 | 602.7 |
| balls2thewalls2 | 9 | 504.5 |
| wcisco | 15 | 745.0 |
Rookie watch (Sleeper years_exp=0): Makai Lemon, 11.70 for The Dirtiest; Denzel Boston, 9.70 for wcisco; Mike Washington Jr., 8.30 for wcisco; Germie Bernard, 8.00 for City Wok Rions; Chris Bell, 6.90 for MauiHowie
Draft 1314707879919386624 (2026, complete): 36 recorded selections.
| Pick | Player | Roster |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Jeremiyah Love | Cam Newtons fantasty |
| 2 | Carnell Tate | Cam Newtons fantasty |
| 3 | Makai Lemon | The Dirtiest |
| 4 | Jadarian Price | landanss |
| 5 | KC Concepcion Jr. | SuckMyPresticles |
| 6 | Kenyon Sadiq | Cam Newtons fantasty |
| 7 | Jonah Coleman | SuckMyPresticles |
| 8 | Jordyn Tyson | Newmen |
| 9 | Omar Cooper Jr. | Killen Kehillah |
| 10 | Germie Bernard | City Wok Rions |
| 11 | Chris Brazzell II | balls2thewalls2 |
| 12 | Eli Stowers | wcisco |
| 13 | Denzel Boston | wcisco |
| 14 | Nicholas Singleton | balls2thewalls2 |
| 15 | Emmett Johnson | SuckMyPresticles |
| 16 | Zachariah Branch | Cam Newtons fantasty |
| 17 | Chris Bell | MauiHowie |
| 18 | Elijah Sarratt | Afghan National Team |
| 19 | Fernando Mendoza | MauiHowie |
| 20 | Antonio Williams | SuckMyPresticles |
| 21 | Ty Simpson | landanss |
| 22 | Woody Marks | MauiHowie |
| 23 | Brandon Aiyuk | MauiHowie |
| 24 | Malachi Fields | Newmen |
| 25 | Mark Andrews | Cam Newtons fantasty |
| 26 | De'Zhaun Stribling | MauiHowie |
| 27 | Mike Washington Jr. | City Wok Rions |
| 28 | Terrance Ferguson | landanss |
| 29 | Max Klare | SuckMyPresticles |
| 30 | Ja'Kobi Lane | Afghan National Team |
| 31 | Skyler Bell | Newmen |
| 32 | Ted Hurst III | City Wok Rions |
| 33 | Michael Trigg | City Wok Rions |
| 34 | Kaytron Allen | Cam Newtons fantasty |
| 35 | Kevin Coleman Jr. | balls2thewalls2 |
| 36 | Carson Beck | wcisco |
Playoff board
Only filled team IDs and reported winners are shown. Empty slots await qualification or an earlier round. A bracket returned before playoffs may be provisional.
| winners_bracket | Round | Team 1 | Team 2 | Recorded winner |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | Abominable Snowmen | wcisco | Pending |
| 2 | 1 | Afghan National Team | Newmen | Pending |
| 3 | 1 | SuckMyPresticles | Killen Kehillah | Pending |
| 4 | 1 | MauiHowie | The Dirtiest | Pending |
| 5 | 2 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 6 | 2 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 7 | 2 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 8 | 2 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 9 | 3 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 10 | 3 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 11 | 3 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 12 | 3 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| losers_bracket | Round | Team 1 | Team 2 | Recorded winner |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | Cam Newtons fantasty | landanss | Pending |
| 2 | 1 | City Wok Rions | balls2thewalls2 | Pending |
| 3 | 2 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
| 4 | 2 | TBD | TBD | Pending |
The recurring cast
| Team | Running nickname |
|---|---|
| Cam Newtons fantasty | Waiver Accountants |
| The Dirtiest | Bench Philosophers |
| Afghan National Team | Trade Committee |
| Killen Kehillah | Sunday Optimists |
| Abominable Snowmen | Rebuild Enthusiasts |
| Newmen | Projection Believers |
| landanss | FAAB Inspectors |
| MauiHowie | Taxi Squad Alumni |
| SuckMyPresticles | Victory Formation |
| City Wok Rions | Flex Department |
| balls2thewalls2 | Draft Pick Collectors |
| wcisco | Monday Negotiators |